Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice is often credited with being the original romance novel. It has all the moments that make a romance a great read; an overheard insult, a strong dislike, a third party rivalry, a gross misunderstanding and a slow re-build up as the couple reconsiders each other. And, of course, a happy ending. Two hundred and thirteen years later we continue to read endless variations of the same story.

Currently, romance novels are the hottest genre in book sales. Some 51 million books categorized as romance have sold in print in the United States market in 2025, per research at Circana.

And yet… after decades of what might be called a giant social experiment, online dating is declining in popularity. The website Internetvibes.net says Tinder has reported nine consecutive quarters of declining paid subscribers; Bumble’s valuation fell from $20 billion at its peak to $2.7 billion. That’s a significant drop.

Both genders are leaving online dating sites but apparently for different reasons. Men report leaving because of a lack of response and no engagement. Women cite unsolicited attention and harassment. Both genders feel that when they do engage, the match lacks genuine relationship potential.

Take the technology out of it and I have to ask: Was it ever thus? …I digress.

To repeat what I wrote last week, when life feels a little boring I reach for a thriller. If genre preferences indicate what we are lacking, or needing, in our lives, then the popularity of romance novels becomes especially interesting in juxtaposition to the decline in online dating.

These two trends are an example of culture rising to meet a social need. Who wouldn’t prefer a “meet-cute” in real life compared to a random “Hi There!” from Jane or Joe in Richmond Hill? Compare and contrast the feeling of sparks brought about by eye contact across a crowded room to a “match” from someone who appears type-cast as a serial killer. Based on my meagre experiences, trying to find common ground and generate an actual conversation with an online “match” is time-consuming hard work. And sometimes there are bots. Just to keep it frustrating.

Meanwhile, there is the advance of “Advodating.” Grassroots resistance and organization usually requires in-person participation. Current political circumstances have given rise to such gatherings; people meeting at these events can easily acknowledge their commonality through commitment to the cause. That alone makes a great starting point for conversation, which leads to a meet-up prior to the next meeting. And so on. It’s not a singles bar, it’s not a dance party, but it’s connection without algorithm running interference.

Would an algorithm ever have matched Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy? Doubt it.

There will be no post next weekend while we Canadians break for Queen Victoria’s birthday.

Keep your joy.

Posted every Sunday, unless it’s a holiday or summertime.

Contentment is for Cows: Short and sweet reflections on life’s complications.