What if we could see ourselves as others see us? Robbie Burns’ poem, “Ode to a Louse,” suggests it would be a powerful thing if we could see our airs and foibles as clearly as others see them. But what if instead, we could see ourselves as those who love and admire us see us? 

I suggest this because maybe it’s possible to be equally blind to our strengths as our faults. I used to be very shy, which may not be considered a fault, but it can definitely interfere with one’s personal charisma. Shyness is an inhibitor. The shy person doesn’t say what they wanted to say, or even needed to say.

The ability to be yourself “regardless of who is in the room” is my favourite definition of charisma. In my years, I’ve worked hard to achieve that and mostly, I have. I speak up, I don’t hold back, I tease, joke, opine, and contribute socially in ways that my formerly shy self would never have allowed.

I owe my conversion away from shyness to a late night discussion around a campfire. My husband and I used to camp every summer weekend. The thing about camping is there is a genuine variety of people who participate. One of our friends was a truck driver. He had issues galore; he drank too much and had trouble maintaining relationships. But he could tell a good story, he could joke, he was fun. 

One night, a small group of us were solving world problems around the fire. Somehow, my being a shy person was mentioned. I’ve never forgotten his response; “It makes no sense to me that you are shy.” And then he rattled off a list of my attributes which I will humbly decline from repeating here, but he included my humour and education. He had finished grade eight. Maybe? Perhaps he had some high school. He joined the army when he was eighteen because he considered the army his best option out of the meagre choices available to him. And yet, he had tons of charisma. He was himself no matter what. 

His words turned over in my mind again and again. No one in my life had ever challenged my shyness. My husband, my family, the people who loved me, just accepted my shyness as part of who I was. Perhaps what I heard from my truck driving friend was the logic, or lack thereof, behind his phrase, “It makes no sense.”

Whatever it was, his words landed. He opened my mind to see myself as he saw me. I began to realize being “shy” was an utter waste of time and effort. I could see what it was costing me and indeed, it “made no sense.”

What do those who love us see in ourselves that we may be blind to?

With apologies to my beloved Robbie Burns, “Oh would some power the gift to give us, to see ourselves as those who love us see us.” 

Keep your joy.

P.S. Don’t forget to register for the Book Launches;

London; Thursday, April 23, 2:30 p.m. Masonville Library, 30 North Centre Rd, London, ON. Please register (if you haven’t already) by email at annemilnewrites@gmail.com

Stratford; I am honoured to be a part of The Leonor Literati! Tickets can be purchased directly on their website, click here; The Leonor. April 28 at 7:00 p.m.

Copies will be available at both events ($20.00) and I’m happy to sign them if you’d like.

Posted every Sunday, unless it’s a holiday or summertime.

Contentment is for Cows: Short and sweet reflections on life’s complications.