How many headlines can you read without shrieking obscenities at your screen?

Esther Perel emphasizes that our quality of life depends on the quality of our relationships. The wisdom in that expression seems obvious; our relationships are a reflection of our ability to consider others, to be generous, to make meaningful connections. Let’s add to that and include our relationships to alcohol, money, self-care, and community. And… in this day and age, we have to include our relationship to social media and the news.

I’ve heard people say they don’t want grandkids, or are worried about the world their grandchildren are coming into. This is not a new sentiment. My grandmother was upset with my mother for becoming pregnant with the first grandchild because of the state of the world in 1942. And yet, I know from reading my mother’s diaries, she still found joy in everyday things like making fresh peach jam or walking after a summer rain–despite bad news or the worry for loved ones serving overseas.

I’ve said it before—everything has a cycle. And man! Are we in a bad cycle right now. It’s the curse of interesting times, which brings us to examining our relationship to the news. I try not to doom scroll. I scroll looking for hope, for pushback, for protests, for the positive response to what seems to be drastically negative.

Trust in any relationship is important and I include it in my criteria of news choices. It can be disheartening to see mainstream media choosing not to cover events that in my humble opinion are important. I consider it a breach of trust when I feel I’m not being given the whole story. Some social media sources have proven to be highly informative and competent, even if they are broadcasting from their car. I never thought finding reliable news would be so much work. I could clog up this post with examples, but I believe we’ve all experienced similar frustrations.

If Perel is right in saying the quality of our life depends on the quality of our relationships, then choosing who we let into our life becomes an important choice, including which journalists, and which apps we choose to follow. Setting boundaries is a part of any healthy relationship; breaking up is easy to do.

Keep your joy.

Anne Milne is an every Sunday blogger, unless it’s a holiday weekend. Or summertime.